The Lord is My Shepherd

My grandmother once told me that I had a mind that liked to ‘take things a part and put them back together.” I think this was her way of saying I was analytical before I was old enough to understand what that was. My grandmother was a teacher and a principal. She instilled in others and in me, a deep love for reading. More than love, she and her eldest son (my father) instilled in me a deep respect for the written word. The practice of asking: “Tell me what the story was about? or what was your favorite part?” often lead to what I call family book reports. I look back now and see my grandmother’s aim was to improve our reading comprehension. My grandfather and father (both pastor’s) were more interested in using the questions to help us learn the nuts and bolts of biblical living.

Later in life we would read the same books and exchange our takes on the author’s message. This practice would serve as the outlet for great amateur theological discussions—as we often took this approach with the Bible.

I have to say I found this quite stimulating when looking at Old Testament characters as a child. As a mature believer, I have used this approach and it has impacted my 40 years of teaching the Bible. But I must admit, I have often treated the Psalms as frosting as compared to the rest of the “cake” of the bible. A light place to rest, recreational reading or comfort—until I met Ann Clark. 

Ann was the wife to our pastor, Dwight, in Michigan. They came into my life in February of 1988. Ann and I took to each other fast, having many common interests, especially going to movies and reading. She would go on to be the greatest spiritual mentor outside my Dad that I would ever have. One of her first inquiries was about how I felt about the Psalms. I can’t remember exactly what my answer was, but it was weak enough to invite instruction. 

Ann said, 

“I can tell you are a serious young gal, and a good teacher but you need to understand the Psalms are essential to the life of a Christian.” In her Mississippi delta drawl she said, “Gawd has placed the Psalms smack dab in the middle of the Bible. And furthermore I think it’s placed there because they are useful for the smack dab middle of everyday life. When you are in the middle of victory, great songs of praise; when you are in trouble great pleadings for mercy and strength, and when you are smack dab in the middle of death they are a comfort. The Psalms give us a voice when we can’t find our own”. 

Part of Ann’s discipline in the scriptures involved a Psalm every day. For me, this was a challenge I would put off, but as the scriptures promises, “His word does not return void.” (Isa 55:11) The harvest of this valuable seed sowing by Ann would come much later and at a crucial time.

Standing on the hillside of Leach cemetery in Lake city Tennessee on a cold December day, when a long time pastor-friend of my Dads’ spoke my father’s favorite scriptures from John 14:

 “In my father’s house are many mansions… I go to prepare a place for you…” He followed up his statement with another verse that was placed on my Dad’s headstone: “I am the resurrection and Life.” Afterward, a member of the VFW presented me a US flag with an honor and thanks from a grateful nation for his service. Then of course, the reliable, recitable funeral Psalm: Psalm 23. 

I spoke at that time what felt like hollow words with comfort that seemed to linger as about long as the East Tennessee wind would let it before it was carried away across the mountain. My Dad lay beside my beloved mother that he had outlived by 22 months after 64 years of marriage. My brother had been the first to go in 2006 and eventually some of his cremated remains would be scattered across that same place. It didn’t help that one of my best friends of 25 years died the same year as my mom. 

Ann was still alive and wrote the most beautiful card, reminding me of the comfort of the Psalms, reminding me that the Lord was a loving shepherd and was with me even in these monumental losses. If I would but rest my mind on this and embrace his comfort she reminded me, “Sharon, you can’t think your way out of this”. 

Thus, began a heartfelt and sometimes resentful doubting pursuit into the comfort of the 23rd Psalm. With Ann’s prayerful encouragement I began to write my book report on Psalms. Ann has moved on and is in Heaven now, but I remember she told me that we all need some God with skin on it from time to time. She was Christ’s ambassador to me—the body of Christ— a little of Gods’ spirit with skin on it.

When I started to examine what a shepherd was, I kept coming across the word keeper. I began to pray what was keeping me? What was sustaining me? Not just in this season of grief, but that place that Ann referred to, as “smack dab in the middle.” 

I would say it wasn’t financial security, but looking at a positive number in the checkbook is always a good temporary keeper. I went down the list of all the things that kept me but were unsustainable. In the wake of the death of my nuclear family, I was reminded this had given me roots, but now my wings of identity would have to spread even wider. I came to realize that my job, my talents, house, my own sense of goodness and morality, even relationships could not provide the security I needed to live a life that would not be anxious. I needed a permanent keeper. A shepherd.

I believe it was because David, himself, was a shepherd that he proclaimed God as “Jehovah Rohi,” the Lord is my Shepherd—my keeper. He tends to me. David’s family relations already strained by his anointing as King over Israel, He was on the run from King Saul at the time in fear of his life. David found himself in a place where he was unable to hold down consistent employment. In other recorded Psalms, David asks the all-important realistic deductive question, “Who else do I have?” 

I began to understand that placing all my trust in God as the essential keeper (shepherd) could absolutely ensure what the Bible tells us. I could have “the peace that passes all understanding.” (Philippians 4:7) God is eternal and never fails.  He will be with me when my job is over, my money disappears, my health fails and even when my family leaves, even in death. The 23^rd Psalm is worded “the Lord is.”It’s in the present tense of is that I find truth. It’s not, “has” or “was” but rather it is…is. Right now He is tending to me! He is keeping me, smack dab in the middle. 

“The Lord is my shepherd.” The word “my” makes it personal. It conveys a belonging. If you have lost your sense of ‘my,’ go to the local playground or to a stockholders meeting. Refresh your sense of ‘my.’ I have settled more disputes between my two 2 kids concerning the ‘my’ in our household more than any other issue. The ‘my’ David uses is not a corporate word or plural like “ours,” or theirs. He doesn’t use an indifferent like the, rather he delights in the personal. This helped me discover more of the intimacy that God was always offering me. It was an intimacy that I had not inclined myself to. I had missed out on joy, peace and comfort by not claiming my Shepherd’s care.  

David could also identify with the love a shepherd has for his sheep. Even when Samuel came to anoint a king for Israel, David was out among his flock. I don’t have a flock, but I have 2 dogs that I love. I rush into say hello to their lickful greetings after being gone. My golden doodle has learned to hug and they sleep at my feet and follow me all day long. If David loved his sheep half as much as I love these dogs, it was a love affair of the heart. 

I believe David called the Lord his shepherd because David grasped how much God loved him. Biblical history reveals that God kept David through thick and thin. God tended to David in every success and failure. He was protected and provided for. If we miss that the Lord did this out of His great love for David, we are left only with spiritual logistics. A corporate religious view of God’s keeping and protecting will leave us hollow and unfilled. Even after David’s failure God referred to David as ‘”a man after Gods’ own heart.” (1 Sam 13:14) This is God conveying to us how David responded to His/God’s love and pursued a relationship with Him. Not just a relationship for providence and provision. God is moved by our response to Him. The love he has for us can fill us with a love for Him, if we would only ask Him. This understanding caused me to look back at all the times I had sought answers, supplies, and solutions from God while not expressing my love for Him. No wonder my relationship was so unfulfilling. It was so one sided.

The comfort of the 23rd Psalm I have found in this first line has been a balm for my soul, especially now in this season we find ourselves in. I could easily slip and think a vaccine or cure will keep me. That a mask and gloves will protect me. That a stimulus check will provide. All of those things are prudent and helpful, but I must remind myself that while God may use any and all, or none of these to aide me, He is my keeper. He is my personal shepherd tending over me smack dab in the middle of even a deadly virus like Corona. Like the 5 o’clock worker who came to work late, I came to truth later than I would have liked. 

Next time I will share how settling into the Shepherd’s care helped me begin to live a more balanced life and tame the wanter in my life. 

-Sharon, The 5 o’clock Worker