I Shall Not Want

If ever we have had the opportunity to examine the difference between needs and wants, it has been through this viral challenge. Most of us have had the luxury of time to contemplate our ‘stuff status. Several of us have had all we need plus some, while others have gone without essentials. If you have never had the chance to travel to a third world country, this can be an eye opener to what essential needs are. 

My time in Peru changed my materialistic perspective, but as a heaven bound pilgrim, I confess my love for earthly things can still plague me, and at times overtake me. I learned I like hand sanitizer more than I anticipated. My previous appreciation for toilet tissue has blossomed into a down right love affair. Not to mention my watchful eye in the meat aisle at the supermarket. The joy I experience continuously filling up my car with gas at cheap prices has been thrilling to say the least. 

At the same time, we have all experienced the truest meaning of window-shopping. With stores closed, all we’ve been left with is looking into store windows and endless on-line scrolling on sites like Wish…Yes, it’s a real site designed to make us want what we do not have. I am not even sure all of my media investment in watching home improvement shows has paid positive dividends.

All these things and the pursuit of them are not bad, but collectively can begin to paint a less than confident picture of our trust in the Good Shepherd, even doubting His ability to provide for us. I have to remind myself that when I am in a balanced relationship with my Lord, I trust Him to be my keeper, that I won’t lack for anything I need. This is what David meant in his Psalm when he penned, ” the Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want.”  If I trust God as my keeper and focus on this, my ‘wanter’ stays in balance. Jesus addressed this in Matthew 6 prior to His instruction of how to pray. He reminded the disciples that the Father knows the things we need. He further reminds us that God cares for the birds of the air and provides for them, and that we are much more valuable than these. (Matthew 6:26) I have a tendency to focus on the physical aspect of Gods keeping, when His desire is for me to keep a heart perspective full of trust and peace in all aspects of my relationship with Him..

The biggest enemy of this peace sabotaging my relationship and intimacy with Christ is probably the enemy from within. It’s the enemy I have been battling since the day I was born—it’s my wanter. I realized that I had not spent enough time in God’s word and prayerful meditation to acquaint myself with this foe and its undermining influence in my life. This put me at a distinct disadvantage for keeping the wanter in check. 

Haven’t you ever wanted something or someone desperately, pursued it passionately, only to find it wasn’t what you wanted? I have personally experienced this moment, and often refer to this as spiritual buyers regret. I’ve chased after things I wanted, and yet the Good Shepherd knew it was not essential to my keeping. Ironically, I have often found that the time and energy to pursue and grasp my wants leaves me unsatisfied, unfilled, and only wanting more. Ecc 6:7 states it like this, “All mans efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied.”

In my study of David’s 23rd Psalm, I saw a picture of a contented satisfied person.  David wrote in Psalm 72, ” Whom have I in heaven but you? and Earth has nothing I desire besides you.” In the pursuit of another man’s wife, David battles and loses with his’ wanter’, costing him greatly. But he ultimately repents and returns to write these Psalms, recognizing that the path to rest and peace is through trusting God with his needs, and allowing the Shepherd to keep him.

I’ve come to realize I have forfeited God’s promised peace many times over in this battle for contentment. By the way this isn’t a new problem, as we see in the garden it was Eve’s desire for more that got her in trouble. This problem is repeated throughout the history of God’s people, as the Israelites left and abandoned His keeping for pursuit of their wants: land, women, comfort, and even a king. Their want list was endless, but the consequences painful and full of needless suffering. Even when God delivered them from slavery in Egypt, their wanting distorted the truth of their circumstances. When faced with the discomfort of hunger in the wilderness, they lifted up their voices nostalgically, the remembered of all the fish, cucumbers, and melons that they ate at no cost in Egypt. No cost? The cost was 400 years of slavery, punishment, cruelty, and even death to some of their family members. It’s easy for me to see this and rush to a self-righteous judgment, but as I have shared, God has shown me that I am a spiritual Israelite. While I am chosen by Him, I am often unfaithful, catering to my wants instead of completely trusting Christ. 

As a doubting Psalmist, it is good to be reminded I can be content. Because of this truth, “I shall not want”, has taken on a new victorious meaning in my life. Satisfaction is possible, achievable, and within reach for the people of faith. To my life group I often refer to myself as a needy person. However, upon reflection and gazing through the Psalmist perspective, I am not needy, I lack nothing. My problem is that I am just a wanting girl. 

I consider this today; God has every single thing under His dominion and power. He doesn’t have to launch an investigation to identify what my needs are. He knows! He doesn’t require a PIN number to provide. He owns!  He wants more of me, and in turn if I respond, I find I want less of me and want more of His loving presence. I want more of His satisfying companionship and His tender keeping. In these days, I want to be found wanting—Him. Alone.

Sharon Bundo, The 5 o’clock worker