From the time I was a young girl until now, I have always been fascinated with medicine and human anatomy. I especially liked learning about how God made all our parts magnificently work together to keep us functioning. This is called physiology and was one of my favorite subjects in college. One of the topics I took delight in was learning about the cardiovascular system and the human heart. Such a powerful and mysterious organ, pumping over 2,000 gallons of blood in a day and can circulate our blood through our entire body in about 20 seconds. But the exchange that takes place within its conduits are what keeps us a living, thriving person constantly regenerating our cells to grow, build and repair. This exchange sustains the respiration that God instituted when He breathed the breath of life into man, and man became a living soul. It is where our blood, the force of life enters one side of the heart deprived of oxygen after feeding our body cells. makes its way through the valves and our lungs and exits the other side of our heart, out through the aorta, renewed, refreshed and with new oxygen to deliver to all the rest of our cells and organs. This is an amazing process that provides us essential survival and quality of life daily.
I couldn’t help but reference this when I came to the portion of Christ’s model prayer regarding forgiveness. Jesus instructed the disciples to pray:
” Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…”
Going before God and sharing our struggles, dialoguing our doubts and yes, confessing our sins are the beginning of renewal in our daily life. Just like my cells need re-oxygenated blood to thrive, my spirit needs new life as well. When I bring my anger and disappointments, my hurt feelings and frustrated failings before God, and truly repent, I can rise with hope, having exchanged my tired diseased spiritual heart for the strength from the very heart of God himself. The Psalmist says it like this, “Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me,”(Psalm 51). I can not face the challenges of this life without this exchange taking place. If I don’t participate in this exchange, I develop spiritual heart disease like hardheartedness, indifference and the very thing that Jesus addresses in the Lord’s prayer…unforgiveness.
Holding unforgiveness in my heart can be subtle at first. Just like silent heart disease, it grows and lingers under the surface slowly affecting vital function. It can start with hurt feelings, jealousy, miscommunication or outright somebody done did me wrong. I can rehearse the wrong and justify my feelings, having convinced myself it’s not really unforgiveness troubling me, but just an entitlement to an apology that is plaguing my thoughts. However, the gospel narrated by my feelings and witnessed by my own experiences is not truthful according to Christ and His teachings. There is no mention of a forthcoming apology to necessitate me forgiving someone else. When I receive the forgiveness of God, it enters my heart, makes the exchange by grace of my own unrighteousness, for the righteousness of Christ and through the power of the Holy Spirit manifests itself through loving others and yes… forgiving. Lots of folks try and slip out of the exchange by claiming the inability to forget the wrong. Forgiving someone is not an endorsement that no wrongdoing occurred. It is a commitment to leave the person who wronged you into the care of God and let Him handle the justice.When I do this, I can move forward and not be weighed down with all the baggage in life of every hurt or wrong I have endured. My heart is light, soft, and free to worship God without hindrance.
Jesus promised this in Matthew 6:14-15
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, BUT if you don’t forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” This is tough to digest, but it doesn’t make it less true. In my human heart, if my arteries become clogged, and the blood needing refreshing cannot enter the heart to be renewed, I am going to have pain. And probably a major cardiac event like an infarction or failure. The same is true for my spirit. If in prayer and fellowship with God, I never allow all the issues that are plaguing me to enter in, I’m headed for major failure. Like distancing myself from God and His fellowship, doubt, a seared conscience, and more anger and unforgiveness. This will sabotage joy and hope from taking root in my heart, not to mention that the peace and rest I long for will become more and more elusive.
Many studies show that angry and bitter people become sick physically from unresolved issues. Conditions like high blood pressure, immune responses, heart issues themselves, and even cancer are associated with unforgiveness. Jesus did not teach us to pray about our trespasses and then pass on the forgiveness to others for His benefits or necessarily for theirs. Because He loves me, He led me to this, for it is what is best for me. For all of me, body, soul, and spirit. Time and time again, forgiveness has demonstrated that it is the best medicine for what often ails me.
Have I ever struggled with unforgiveness? Of course I have. Friends who have betrayed me, family who has disappointed, fellow Christains who have wronged me. God who has allowed trials and loss, suffering and silence to challenge me. I have struggled with forgiving myself for bad choices, pent up anger, missed opportunities and selfish motives. The greatest gift God has given me is that I can come to Him, and exchange all of this for His all sufficient grace and love that covers a multitude of sins. Only God knows how many heartbeats my human heart will perform before it fails. I have the assurance I can leave this life with a healthy spiritual heart, because God, the premier cardiologist has planted His heart within mine. It is life giving, life renewing and eternal, it will never wear out.
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