One of the things I treasure about living in South Carolina is the number of sunny days I get to enjoy. Having lived in Michigan for most of my life, I had grown accustomed to a large quantity of cloudy days. I never missed an opportunity to get out when the sun made an appearance. This was especially true come November. The sun would peek through, and I would get so excited, and it wouldn’t be long before those clouds would begin to crowd in, one by one, until sadly, the sun was blotted out. What had started out as a promising break from the overcast, transitioned back to the bleakness of late autumn where the sky and the earth were mostly all one color. A matte version of some less than inviting shade of gray. I read where Michigan has an average of 170 sunny days, while South Carolina has something like 210. For an outdoor girl, this is like a bonus month of nothing but pure sunshine. It is more hot and humid where I reside and when hurricanes blow in, the cloud activity dwarfs anything I experienced in my native state. The clouds before a hurricane appear over the ocean here and there, dotting the horizon. The storm surges in and the sky becomes a great gray wall reflecting it’s image into an equally dark gray surface of water. The ironic thing is the day before the storm arrives, the ocean is blue and though the wave swell is bigger, it is breezy and sunny. One would never know that in a few hours the cloudy curtain of rain and wind will descend, often bringing terrible devastation in its wake.
Though this is a physical description of weather, for me, it paints a pretty accurate picture of an experience I commonly experience in my walk of faith. Periodically, on the sunniest of spiritual days where I am coasting along, enjoying the blue sky of peace and the warm breeze of God’s blessing, a cloud appears on the horizon. Though initially small, just like in the early signs of a hurricane, pretty soon a storm blows in and I am caught off guard wondering how my confidence in a great spiritual climate has deteriorated into a faithless wonder of where God is in the midst of my storm. That one small cloud that appears early on in my life, is doubt. It starts with one thought that slips past the gate of my mind when I have dropped my guard. For me, it starts with, the questioning of why God lets storms happen to begin with and it mushrooms into a train of thought where I dream up a better solution or a different outcome than how God plans to resolve it. Pretty soon, it is joined by other thoughts of disappointing doubt until I begin entertaining unbelief that somehow God isn’t able to bring a plausible solution to my current set of circumstances. By this time, I have collected all the reasons why it isn’t possible for HIm, based on what I see. One cloud of doubt, if not dealt with, can leave me unprepared for a coming storm that God knows is about to arrive and is lovingly trying to prepare and equip me for.
However, the bible gives hopeful perspectives for chronic doubters like me. One such account involves a guy named Gideon. (Judges 6-8) Gideon lived in the town of Ehpra and because the Israelites had turned away from God and were under the oppressive rule of Midian, the Israelites fled for the hills and hid in caves The Midianites took everything, livestock and valuables and burned all the crops. This strong nation, like a hurricane, destroyed everything in its wake.So much so, that Gideon begins to doubt that all the testimonies of God’s goodness told to him by his ancestors are even true. Gideons doubt grows into such a state of unbelief that he is convinced God has abandoned them. Until one day, an angel of the Lord visits Gideon and relays that God is going to use him to save Israel. Now, a new set of doubts arise on Gideons horizon. How can God use him when Gideon himself claims he is a member of the weakest clan and is the runt of the litter? Ironically. When the angel appears to him, Gideon is hiding out in fear and the angel refers to Gideon as “Mighty Warrior.” I can just see Gideon looking over his doubtful shoulder and replying, “Who me?” After a dialogue with the angel, Gideon requests a sign to confirm God’s call and the angel of the Lord obliged. Gideon moves forward to enlist men to fight but his insecurity and doubt accompany him and every step of the way. He continues seeking God, but asks for signs of confirmation. Once again The Lord replies with signs using a simple woolen fleece to assure Gideon that it is God calling him.
In this season of Gideon’s life, I believe God responded with signs because Gideon had a willing heart. Though he struggled with doubt, he wanted to obey God. This reminds me; God is unshaken by my doubt. Nor does He turn away from me but rather draws near when I am truly seeking Him. God wants to assure me in my state of doubt. He meets me even in my wavering faith to reveal Himself more fully to a heart that is set on pleasing Him. When I begin to recognize the clouds of doubt, it is God’s desire for me to turn to Him solely. We see when Gideon did this, God answered. This makes my sometimes doubting, shaky trembling heart sing with joy! God doesn’t leave me hanging out with my cloudy doubts but continues to part the way so the light of clarity can come shining through.
God doesn’t stop there. Not only does He provide confirmation not once, but twice to Gideon to assure him that He (the Lord) was with him. God scales back the thousands of enlisted men who have come to fight the Midianite enemy down to 300 men. Yep. God says, “Hey Gideon not only am I calling you —the runt of the litter who doubted I was even still with you and your people, but I’m going to bring victory with not more soldiers, but actually less.” This is where my sunny skies of faith would turn gray for sure. This is how doubt can continue to sabotage our confidence In God. Having God on our side means more power right? Bigger show of force, we think? Consider David was called to face Goliath without armor as a youngster while the whole army of Israel were in their tents probably less than 50 yards away! Gideon is going to face the Midianite army where scriptures record their camels were too numerous to count with a pitiful band of 300 men. Henry Blackaby says that when God does something, He does it in such a way that it leaves no room for doubt about who accomplished it.
Not only does God confirm Gideon’s call, despite his doubts, God supernaturally equips Gideon for the task. God took care of both struggles, Is it you Lord? And if so, how? The Israelite army victoriously overthrows the Midianite army and are freed from their tyranny under Gideon’s leadership who despite his doubts, puts his trust in God. Gideon ruled as a judge over Israel for 40 peaceful blessed years.
As I stated, I love sunny skies! Who doesn’t? When the storms of life blow in, and clouds of doubt about my safety and God’s ability to protect and guide me appear, I have the blessed invitation to confess those doubts to God. He reassures me through His word and His spirit. God is waiting to strengthen my faith and build my confidence in Him alone to equip me for whatever or wherever He calls me, even though I doubt. I heard someone recently say that doubt and worry are not a disqualification from God’s purpose being worked out successfully in our life, but they are an alarm that signifies it is time to pray and ask.
I want to be like Gideon… keep on asking until God answers.
Join me next time in the vineyard where I take a look at fear.
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