The Chosen Life: A Rough Start

One might think by now that I would have come to understand that a life of faith doesn’t mean there won’t be a hardship. Though my brain knows this from life experience and confirmed by scriptural truth, my heart hopelessly holds to the romantic notion that following God will somehow guarantee that I will escape trial. In the back of my rose colored mind, trouble can threaten, but it won’t actually follow through. I know this so well because I have been through this cycle plenty. For the long haul toward heaven, in the end, ultimately, this is true. In the short term, God allows trial and obstacles to strengthen my faith and dependence on Him. This means in the daily; I can obey God and follow his promptings, and make decisions that about a third of the way through. I am looking for the door marked exit. My prayer life changes from gratitude to attitude reminding God my current circumstances aren’t at all what I thought they would be. Writing this excerpt from my family story series reminded me, even those living the chosen life can have a rough start…

Bringing Daryl home was exciting and an adjustment. He was active and loud. And messy. Can you imagine, after 17 years of married life in a quiet, orderly home, the stress of adjustment? Even happy change is stressful. Even now, I marvel at the love it would take to give up that comfort and intimacy. 

Daryl insisted his name was Kirby and said he would be glad to be their little boy, but no one was changing his name. My mom told me she would always say to him, “That’s ok, Kirby is a nice name.” Daryl had sleepwalking episodes, stole food, and squirreled behind his dresser and in his shoes, not to mention a host of other challenges. Meanwhile, preparations were made for the corrective eye surgery(that would not all be covered by insurance). Daryl saw the very best eye surgeon in the best eye clinic in downtown Detroit and the outcome was better than the doctors hoped. Though his glasses would need updating every 3 to 6 months at this age, follow-up care would involve patch wear and quite demanding exercises. Only love could make these sacrifices. On the horizon, the final hearing was approaching, where Daryl’s adoption would be finalized, and he would officially be given his new legal name, Daryl Edison Phillips. Daryl’s comment regarding this was, “I like the Edison part, but I am a Kirby.”

God bless my folks. Even when I read this and have lived with the story, I ask, “Does everything have to be hard?”. It’s not like they had years of beautiful memories with Daryl. Right from the beginning, they had a rough start. My mom was a tenacious character and was known for her Irish temperament and candor, but not once in our entire life did I ever hear her complain about the hardship of these days. When we were both older, I used to laugh and tease her that this proved she definitely wasn’t an Israelite. I, on the other hand, are more of one than I like to admit. Poor Moses, a wealthy background coupled by years hiding as a fugitive, only to answer and obey God by taking a group of complainers out to the desert to look for “the Promised Land. ” I would have been one of the first to whine about the water and food in short supply and would have asked to look at the map after a while with the whole wandering thing. Obedience comes at a price that, many times, my mouth confesses that my heart of faith cannot confirm. The enemy also chimes in that if I was really in the center of God’s will, life wouldn’t be this difficult. But when I look to God’s word that tells me not to look at my circumstances but keep my eyes on God, I am reminded these times of trials is where God demonstrates his power. He supplies strength, comfort, patience, provision. When I depend on Him, He develops my character to be more courageous, trusting, and less worried. I am more joyous over what He is bringing about in my life. Do you know there are folks in the circle of my life that said my parents should not have taken on this challenge, that it was just too hard?

My parents lived out this aspect of the chosen life so well. It is a testimony to their trust in God. He chose them to be parents to Daryl and myself. They decided to follow God’s adventure, and it delivered a lot of joy and hardship. I was there and know this to be true. Does this make them saints? Certainly not for they became that when each of them accepted Christ and His free pardon of grace. After that, Edison and Beulah became saints in the army of God, working out His purpose in the world in what I like to call ‘the daily.’ This means they accepted the dream and the daily challenge of living it out through good times and hard, challenging times. I am glad they decided not to “re-home” or “return” Daryl when it got hard. I asked my Dad what they did when it got hard. Dad said they asked God, and they got by. He brought us to Daryl, and He brought us through Daryl.

When Daryl died, my father told me, “Daryl was a gift; he was just a little tough to open.” I thank God for the faithful witness of all those in scripture and in my life who have testified of the faithfulness of God to remind me through the chosen life can have rough starts, it always finishes well for those of us who love God and are called according to His purpose.

Join me next time in the vineyard where the 5 o’clock worker examines the impact of a new name in the chosen life.