The Chosen Life: God, Our Source

As I mentioned in a previous blog, The Chosen Life series was written with a particular family in mind who were preparing to adopt. I thought that would be the end of it after I had given them the journal. But then God began nudging me that the concepts of adoption, chosenness, etc., were so much broader and I needed to write it with a deeper perspective. This was reinforced in my thinking as I meditated on the equipping of my parents to begin and live out both the “chosen” and the “chooser” life.

When I think of my “coal miner’s daughter” mom, who did not finish high school and came from a broken, very unstable home, I am amazed at her resourcefulness and the tent idea seems almost genius. I asked her, “how in the world did you come up with that?” She said she just prayed a lot and the Lord helped her daily. Step by step, to help Daryl embrace his new permanent home. Mom said God worked through her and worked in Daryl and relayed only God could do this considering Daryl’s state of mind and fear of abandonment. 

Many times through parenting Ric and Erin, I have prayed for a “tent idea” to help me resolve issues with them. My mom’s testimony reminded me God is the ultimate parent. He desires to work through me in the ministry to my children and can work in all of our hearts, even though we all laugh and say, “we are all grown up now.” This is always true of God. He works in us, while He works through us if we will cooperate.

I wish I could say that Daryl embraced the chosen life as well as he learned to embrace his new name. But he struggled most of his life, though never with drugs or alcohol for which that in itself is an amazing miracle. However, Daryl did struggle with stability issues and was a tremendous wanderer. He had a knack for fixing things and had a tremendous baritone voice and was even invited to sing with a traveling choir to Europe to sing.. But he hitchhiked to Canada, 2 months before going and eventually did a short stint in the army. In later years, when my parents looked back, they agreed that Daryl suffered from what is now known as “Failure to attach.” When this discussion came up, it was always accented with my Dad’s remark “But we are attached to him and he has known love and love never fails’ ” When Daryl was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 52, he was living in California and had been gone several years. He called Dad and said “Can I come home?”My parents provided home adjacent to their house and Daryl, along with his wife, Kathy, lived there until his death some three years later. During this period of chemo radiation and experimental treatment, Daryl and Dad received the opportunity to grow close and develop a type of intimacy they had never experienced before. Dad says God used the cancer to let Daryl finally attach. They had sweet times and it reminded me that until God takes us, He keeps restoring us. This is true for all believers in Christ. As His chosen, He keeps restoring us because God wants us to be attached to Him, more than anything else.

When Daryl died, my sister-in-law had him cremated, but my folks placed a stone in Leach Cemetery that read:

Daryl Edison Phillips

Beloved son Sept 17, 1954 – June 26, 2006 

Dad was right, love had not failed. God’s love for them, His love for Daryl, their love for Daryl and their love for God had proven to be a cycle and a legacy that had helped Daryl finally reach the ultimate home in heaven. God has chosen and made with His own hands for us all who are trusting in Christ.

Come back to the vineyard next time where the 5 o’clock worker shares about “Another Choice.”