The Struggle With Rejection..Finding Love

I held my breath through the whole announcement, hoping and praying my name would be called. I didn’t make the list for the girl’s first-string basketball team. A crushing blow to a 7th grader. I was sure all the practice on the driveway and the hours invested in playing alongside my older brother and the neighborhood guys would surely pay off. All those skinned knees and endurance of sharp elbows and taunts for nothing. Zilch. Nada. The coach said I was a great shooter but needed to work on speed. I simply needed to be faster. Talk about failed expectations. All of us have had these moments at one time or another.

Waiting to hear our name after auditions, cheerleading tryouts, school elections, and scholarships. We grow into more significant attempts to make our mark along with greater expectations. Then the news comes to us in phrases like: We have decided to go with another applicant; or next year, when you have been with us a little longer, we will consider the promotion. For many, rejection and failed expectations can come from a deeper, more devastating place, like the child who is never hugged or affirmed. Or the spouse who is told, ‘I am not in love with you anymore.’ Rejection is hard to take regardless of the conduit and where it flows from. It often leaves us wounded and disabled in ways we don’t even understand. The drive to be loved and accepted is an innate part of who we are as humans, and God is the one who made us that way.

When God created us, He proclaimed, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness”(Gen 1:26). We were born out of God’s desire to love and have fellowship. We were made and wired for acceptance and community. Did you know that the heartbreak I experienced in 7th grade is part of that design? Without oversimplifying the matter, God doesn’t like rejection any more than we do. He is far more familiar with it than we think. Consider the perfect work of creation, the garden, the fellowship. Yet, Adam and Eve, rejected His offer and pursued something they thought would have a better outcome. At the heart of rejection is the preference for something or someone else. Jesus faced this many times in His time here on the earth. Luke 17.25 tells us Christ would suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. Jesus reminds us with these words, “Have you not read the scriptures that the stone which the builder rejected? This became the chief cornerstone” (Mark 12:10). For all those who have experienced rejection, the bible tells us in John 1:11 that Jesus came to His own (humans). His own (that’s us) did not receive Him.

 Time and time again, we see the rejection Christ experienced while He was here on earth. Think of Peter’s words, “I do not know Him” (Luke 22:57). Then there are the cries from the crowd screaming out their painful words of preference in John 18:40, “Give us Barabbas!” Jesus totally experienced rejection beyond anything we could face. He understands and can relate! 

However, His relating and identifying with our histories of being turned away does not heal our souls or our wounds. It is His all-surpassing love, grace, forgiveness, and comfort that does. We must embrace His gift of love and accept that it is the only healer of all rejection we could face in this life. The unconditional enduring faithful love of God is the gift that came in the flesh that first Christmas. Jesus Christ and his redemptive mission when he came to earth meant we would never face rejection from a holy God if we accepted the gift of salvation He offered and still offers to this day. 

Despite my failing athletic prowess, even now, in my daily life, I can overcome the sense of being less because Jesus said I am more. The Bible promises me I serve a God who inhabits the praise of His people. Even if my joy is noisy and off-key. God sings over me! (Zephaniah 3:17) 

For those who struggle with a purpose, our loving God reminds us He has plans for us and a purpose. (Jeremiah 29:11). Love came down at Christmas to remind us that God is never going to tell us that He is not in love with us anymore and has moved on to another. He looks at me and says I am the apple of His eye and His delight! (Zechariah 2:8) His love is faithful and enduring! I don’t have to work harder or have a professional edge of being considered by Jesus to be worthy of working alongside Him. I am accepted and don’t have to pass a competency exam to get my foot in His door. God is the author of the old adage, “it is not what you know, but who you know!”

Rejection is a force that comes to us dressed in a thousand disguises. If we face bad news from the doctors, the enemy will say God has rejected our regard for health. If the bank account gets wiped out, God has rejected our financial needs. The list of lies the enemy tells us is long and clever. If we face rejection in relationships, the lie is that we are not enough. This Christmas, I take heart with some of the most comforting scriptures that are not found in Luke and within the account of that first Christmas. Rather I take comfort in the words of Paul to the Romans,

“For I am absolutely convinced that nothing-nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable- absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us 

(Romans 8 MSG)

The ultimate gift of Christmas is that the love of God came down and demonstrated to the world that the war of rejection was over. Sure there would be struggles and wounds but none so fatal we could not survive. Wherever or whatever we find ourselves, let us reflect on what the scriptures say in Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love’.” As we gather with those who hold us close or even at a distance. Whether we are with a crowd or find ourselves alone., if folks rave over the gift or no cards and gifts arrive at our doorstep, may we remember, Lord, that an old Hymn might be considered sometime for a Christmas carol, “He Included Me.” Perhaps, in my Christmas card, after I convey my wishes for a Merry Christmas, I should add He included you! 

Lord, I know I will face rejection from the moment I came into this world until I leave it. But Jesus, let me cling and abide in that place where you dwell, where no earthly rejection can rob me of the acceptance I have received from you and the Father. Your love, Jesus, is the greatest gift of all!

This concludes the series on The Struggle. Erin and I wish all of you who keep up with this ministry a Merry Christmas and a joyful outlook for the coming days. The 5 o’clock worker will return to this vineyard after the holidays with a new series, “The Wardrobe.”