Even Though

In my home over the main hallway arch are two words that I see several times a day. It was a gift from a friend who knows these words are from some of my favorite scripture in Habakkuk 3: “Even Though.” The words are a big reminder for me not to lose my perspective in the middle of walking through the daily trials of life. 

Lately, they have really crossed my virally infected thoughts and my doubting Psalmist lips more than I care to admit. The fact that I have been “sheltered in” for approximately the last 3 months, it has given me  the opportunity to apply these words—Even Though… To the valley of the shadow of Covid 19.

You might find my contextual use of Davids words from Psalm 23:5 amusing or difficult to understand. David arrives at this line in his Psalm after examining God’s provision, peace and guidance. He now proclaims the power of God’s protection, even when death looms near. I recognize that my application of this particular phrase is where I am today in my walk with God —I am walking in a valley full of shadows.

Underneath my watchful concern of spiking Covid cases after various phases of reopening around the country occurring is fear. Fear that as a people we will now face the descent once again into the valley of shadow of death. While many find this verse ominous and dark, it is realistic. Without abandoning my peace that God provides in all the places, David has led me through in this Psalm. David brings me to the ultimate fear I must face: my own mortality. If I don’t face it, I never really live with peace, or walk through life unafraid. David does not say,

“Even though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil… and learn to like it,” rather He concentrates on God’s companionship through the valley.  

None of us can will ourselves out of the crisis we are in. Everyday there is a changing perspective on how to avoid the virus; how to treat it, how to recover from it, how to shop, eat out etc…We converse with our friends and family about the impact the virus has had on our economy and keep track of how many ventilators are made and are available. Beneath and woven in and out of all the ideas and conversations is this: the fear of death. Am I afraid of catching the virus? Of course I am! But I am more afraid of what it will do. 

We have learned through all of this that the virus has the potential to kill us. Period. Forget ventilators, masks and gloves, We are confronted with thoughts of death beds without the comfort of family, while the media constantly reminds us that an effective vaccine is months away. For those alive, it isn’t a mirage. Whether we want to admit it or not, this is the valley of shadow of death of our times. And most of us if we are honest are fearful. This is why this verse is so vastly important to this doubting Psalmist. 

Even though…. 

Even though I am scared, Even though I am older, Even Though the virus is on the rise, there is no need for fear or hysteria. Even Though I could die, because God is with me, I can still walk through this season basking in the peace His power of protection grants me. This is a different type of peace from the peace I experienced beside the still waters. That peace was more circumstantial for restoration. This is a powerful peace. It’s an Even Though peace. It’s a powerful protection that even in death, God is in control of every fiber of my being. I take note that David uses the word “walk”. It doesn’t say lay down in the valley, it doesn’t say hide in the valley. I am embarrassed to admit I have attempted both tactics of hiding and laying down in the valley. David’s walk is a moving forward faith. It is not a weak crippled paralyzed belief system that might hold up under a challenge or might not. It’s not a religion David is following, but the person of the Godhead Himself.

In the walk of my life, at the mere shadow of trouble or danger, my first option is a pity party for one and it is more rewarding if I can coerce a couple of my faith friends to join me. I think the mentality behind this is that I believe if I lay there long enough, whatever is troubling me or frightening me will simply go away. And somehow the fellowship and sympathy of my comrades will protect me. However, that hasn’t happened yet.  And the longer I try to avoid it the larger the fear grows. It moves me farther and farther away from the fellowship and comfort of God.  

As a healthcare professional, I had to learn to face death. In the city hospital just outside Detroit, death was all around me. Cancer, heart disease, trauma. The list of evil foes was endless. The more I helped care for the dying, the more I had to face my own mortality. I came to recognize that I could not and should not live underneath the shadow of death and be fearful. One way God ministered to my fear was at the beds of the faithful who kept their eyes on Jesus despite the ranges of age or ravage of illness. These folks possessed such peace and grace that it reminded me,” fearing no evil” in the physical face of death is an indescribable testimony of those who securely rest in the knowledge that “He is with me.”

David also recorded in Psalm 116: 15 that the “Death of a saint is  precious in the sight of the Lord”. This means that the Lord does not take death lightly, but He is not under its control either. Because Christ overcame death and the grave, for us who walk by faith and trust in Him, death is a transition into the better life that awaits us. I usually own up to the fact I am not fearful of death’s destination, but I am quite concerned about the transportation I might have to take to get there. 

For the child of God, while death is a painful moment for us and more grievous to those we leave behind, it is a privilege to be able to say, “Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil because you are with me O God.” 

This is a powerful reminder that every shadow doesn’t bring death. It is but a shadow, a casting of a fearful far off fate that may or may not happen. God already has timed and taken care of whatever it is. I have a saying that The Lord gave me during a crisis period in my life where shadows loomed big and blocked out almost all of Gods sunlight in my life.’ Both of my parents were aged and ill, my only brother had died. As I was overwhelmed with grief and worry over the future, The Lord reminded me “He gives grace for “What Is, not What if. ” 

God’s comforting presence and power to protect me was and is in the valley, under the shadows. And when I get to the next valley, His unchanging power over all that I fear will remain as effective there as it is now.

David was an ordinary person that God used in extraordinary ways. David knew that life wouldn’t be all peaceful still waters and green pastures. He was confident enough in God to commit to these words. This where the 23rd Psalm takes a turn and moves from a declaration of who God is to a promise David makes to God: ”Even Though.”

David commits his trust to a loving powerful protecting God who is even the Lord over death. The summation of the words from the prophet Habakkuk are recorded over my doorway: “Even Though nothing good has happened, is happening, or might not happen, I will rejoice In God”. Everyday, every moment, and every hour in these challenging days I must allow the thought to digest itself and the Holy Spirit to convict my soul of this one belief. Even though I face whatever my chaotic imagination can conceive of, God has control over whatever evil force may attempt to harm, thwart, undermine or just plain scare me. 

He is with me. 

Here, in the Now. 

Even Though. 

I must also come to recognize and examine what I believe about the hereafter. For me this is Heaven. I am resting on Christ’s righteousness not my own to take me there. I must examine whether I believe this is a better place? As christians we sing “won’t it be Wonderful There,” while under our breath we say it will be more wonderful in about a hundred years after we have exhausted our lust and love for the earthly life we have been granted. It is good to love life and to throw ourselves into every investment of talent God has given us into it. However, we are reminded by Peter in scripture to remember we are immigrants here and this is not our home. This means I should enjoy this life, respect it, honor it, bless God through it and be a great steward of it, until… I go to my actual home with Him. 

Peter reminds me that my residential visa is a temporary one. I should love this life, but like all loyal natives I love my country of origin more. That country is my place with Jesus. When I look around at the troubled world I live in, I ask God to help me be a peacemaker and facilitate change that will honor Him and comfort others. 

For me to believe ultimately I will be better off and have peace with God in heaven eternally where He promises there will be no more death, sickness, suffering, or separation is not a death wish. I believe this is a win, win mindset. 

My friend, Paula Franklin who battled ovarian cancer had this mindset. When she was told there was nothing else that could be done to beat the cancer, she was in the hospital. When I walked into her room, she smiled at me and said in her deep Tennessee drawl, “Did you hear the good news?, I am a goin home. God says I’ve finished my work.” This gigantic peace she had inspired me and her funeral was a victory lap not a mournful meet and greet. Paula’s perspective was a great example of Even Though faith. Even though I thought Paula was too young to die, shouldn’t leave her husband Charlie or her church and her friends, I knew she was the happiest she had ever been and more fully alive with God than she had ever been here. Even though she had to walk through the valley to get there. I saw right up to the end that the Lord was with her. No one is born with that type of natural courage and confidence. It wasn’t a characteristic of Paula’s, it was the character of God and His presence in the valley of the shadow of an imminent death.

In my own life, could the resounding fear in the valley be the echo of unbelief God has less for me after this life than in this life itself? As the 5 o’clock worker in me always arrives at truth at such a late hour, I am reminded it’s never too late to embrace the peace Gods promises in the Bible. As a doubting Psalmist, I am encouraged that God has the power to change my unbelief into trust if I would make myself available to Him. Most of all, I can have joy and walk with confidence knowing God is my faithful companion in the dark places even when I can’t see Him. Even though I may face the unknown He sees beyond the shadows and is with me.

Even though the vineyard today seems a bit cloudy at the moment, the sun is starting to shine through and we will find comfort in David’s next phrase. 

Sharon Bundo, 5 o,clock worker