What’s In My Cup?

Over the last 3 months I have experienced an emotional roller coaster ride that has transformed my perspective on almost every dimension of my life. Some days my optimism wins out and I make it through the day with a shaky confidence that the world will eventually right itself and I will return to some sense of normalcy. Other days, pessimism greets me when I wake up. It reminds me nothing has changed and the sky is still overcast with covid clouds. The forecast of a steady drizzle of financial fall out, social distancing, and potential upheaval are a constant presence on life’s radar. Somewhere, in the middle are a few days of my indecisive  perspective that keeps me teetering on the edge, between fragile faith and ultimate doom.  When I look down into my cup of life, it is often half empty, not half full. If I am totally honest with myself, the dregs of frustration, disappointment and hopelessness lie at the bottom of my cup on a pretty regular basis.

When it came to my study of David’s claim that his cup was running over in Psalm 23, I realized it was the perfect time to examine what was really in my own cup. The Bible tells us that all scripture is inspired, good for  teaching and correction (2 Timothy 4). I don’t often view the Psalms this way. I usually think of them as songs and prayers, but I have learned a ton just from taking the time to listen to what David is saying about his own struggles and victories (A credit to Miss Ann’s, smack  dab in the middle lesson about studying Psalms). 

David said his cup was not only full, it was running over. My reference of running over comes from a childhood memory of my brother.  Daryl was older and he often prepared or provided a snack for us. I would get the food and things I could manage and Daryl would get the cups and milk or juice from the fridge because, well, he could reach it. He also had the skill and dexterity to pour. The game went like this: 

As he began to pour our drink, he would say,,” tell me when…” I would say “stop” and he would keep pouring. I would yell stop and he would overfill the cup spilling the drink onto the counter. I would say, “why didn’t you stop?”… His reply was “you didn’t  say when.” 

We would both explode into giggles and would have to refrain from pouring the second cup, because childhood laughter made for unsteady hands. This process made for a big mess but great joy. We never stopped the ritual as long as we were together. I grew up knowing as long as Daryl was pouring, my cup would be full even if his motives were slightly less than benevolent. I picture God like this, laughing joyfully as He pours out His blessing into my cup, and wanting me to experience childlike joy as it overflows and spills onto the counter of life.

I have lived long enough to have learned that the common denominator between a blessing and life is this… they can both be messy, but in the end, it will be ok if I depend on God to work it all out.

I picture David’s view of his cup influenced by the experiences he had with the Lord. David had written about his relationship with God, the Good Shepherd. And that resulted in being provided for, led, rested, protected and accompanied through even of the darkest of trials. He then goes on to state that God is hosting a dinner on his behalf. As a result David proclaims his cup is running over. David sets a great example of what gratitude could look like in the daily. A perspective of gratitude doesn’t peer down into the cup of life and stir up the tea leaves of distress, danger or fear. Rather, it sees peace for calamity, delivery from danger, and protection from any potential foe. Trust and hope in God shouldn’t even leave me with a half filled  cup of “maybe I will be ok” outlooks. When I think of all God has done for me and all Christ has been to me, my cup is more than full, it is running over. So I have ask myself where is the leak in my cup? Why is joy and blessedness not my basic mindset?

For one thing, I can make myself resistant to God blessing me, by filling myself (my cup) to become congested with other things that will not lead to the blessing.  Doubt, anger, disappointment in loss of dreams can fill me longing for less than the best God offers me. Especially if I buy into the world’s philosophy about what real living is like!  Jealousy and envy of what is in other’s cups can consume me if I don’t keep focus on what I am called to and what life fits me and my talents. I also discovered that ungratefulness can cause my full cup of blessing to evaporate as fast as God can pour it in. This can lead to apathetic faithlessness where after a while I become so casual and take for granted  blessings that I can develop a sense of entitlement. In my life, This leads to empty cup syndrome faster than anything. And usually at the bottom, I find the dirty dinge of self pity staining my cup like old coffee.

I had to deal with this once before in my faith walk with Christ. A few years ago, after a season of discouragement and tried on every side, I complained to the Lord that I didn’t really personally know any joyous Christians. I longed for inspiration. You know the kind— since you aren’t happy, you desire for others to provide it to you and for you. Oh I knew a few who had happy moments, but most were struggling to make it in the daily, let alone be overcomers. I feel this is an indictment on both my perspective and of the church. Both jaded and a little weary… (more on this another time) 

In a moment of seeking prayer and contemplation, God impressed me that since I didn’t know any joyous believers, why didn’t I try being one. This led to making gratitude lists of both big and small things. It made me aware of ungrateful speech patterns of complaint and patterns of behavior that led to discontentment. Like comparison and a need to control my circumstances It caused me to guard myself against others negativity and their desire to have miserable company. I found as I moved into more healthy gratitude attitudes, my joy increased. This doesn’t mean that all that was happening around me that was painful or discouraging stopped. It did mean my focus shifted from a half empty cup perspective to one of hey there is something in my cup! God wants to keep putting good stuff in it! My cup content is not dependent on my own ability to fill it. Rather, it’s about my availability to God to hold my cup up and let Him pour into it! 

By the way, this effort was multiplied when a few close comrades were led to do the same in their own life. Little did we know how much that shift in thinking would be one of the things Christ would use to lift us and help us deal in the valley of Covid and the major unrest in our world at this very moment!

I feel David gained this perspective from the sum total of all of his experiences with God. He found the salvage value in every season of his walk with the Shepherd. From the stroll beside the stream or the rest in the pasture, he found blessing. David recognized the redemption in the valley and developed that even though I am afraid faith to move forward and proclaim God as a comfort and a companion. He dined delightfully at God’s table instead of fearing that the enemy could barge in at any moment disrupt the party and steal his honor that God had bestowed on him. David proclaims after all this, my cup is running over.  He hasn’t lost his hindsight about how he got to where he is, therefore his eyesight about his current status is praiseworthy and honoring of God. 

Come join me next time where we will finish my Confessions of a Doubting Psalmist. I take a look at the gift of foresight David was given, as he lavished in the blessings that overflowed from his cup.