Something is Following Me

“Surely your goodness and mercy will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of
the Lord forever.”
Psalm 23:6

I came to facebook in 2018 because I was doing an ancestry search, and it was a great way to exchange photos, documents with fellow seekers and long lost relatives that were joyously discovered along the way. I was what most of my friends and family described as a “facebook hold out.” It didn’t take me long to discover the benefits and the liabilities of  life involved with social media. It came with a sense of wonder and dismay about how public life could get. Pretty soon I was tagged and named by name…(BY NAME!) in photos I hadn’t even realized had been captured. Thankfully, nothing I was too embarrassed about except bad camera angles, less make up than I would have liked, and remorse about wardrobe choices. 

Facebook also added a new dimension to the word ‘follow.’ I learned on facebook that this word meant: to keep up with, pursue, check out, be loyal, stalk activities, be interested, oh, and don’t forget compare yourself too. Then I started a blog to help foster my call to creative writing of devotionals and encouraging narratives. Lo, and behold, along my journalistic pursuit, I picked up a few followers. An amazing blessing, but also along with it came an overwhelming sense of responsibility and stewardship. Especially since I am writing from a faith based perspective and depend on God, Himself, to inspire my thoughts and writings. I felt and do feel a responsibility to followers to be as transparent and authentic as possible.

Despite the warm feeling of affirmation I have received from followers of the 5 o’clock worker, it is not the best following I have had. The most wonderful, amazing, undeserved gift I have received is what David, the Psalmist, refers to in his 23rd psalm verse: Goodness and Mercy. 

As I was studying this psalm, it reinforced the idea that I have these two attributes of God pursuing me in my daily life. Pursuing me? The voice inside my head as a doubting psalmist scoffed at the concept, while my heart trembled at the hope that this could be true for me, like it was for David.

David isn’t divided between mind and heart about this conviction of God’s goodness and mercy chasing after him. David uses the word “Surely,” which means confidently or without question. He proclaims God’s reliability to provide these blessings to him. David makes it clear that goodness and mercy are undeserved by using the word “follow.” He doesn’t say he, himself, is following after these two things. David doesn’t say he is chasing after goodness or trying to trap mercy at every opportunity he can get his hands on. Rather David has made it clear throughout the entire 23rd Psalm that he is following God. The conclusion for me is that as a result of following God, goodness and mercy will follow after me. Not before me. 

In the instant gratification me first focused world I live in, this can be a foreign concept. I personally think this can be a sticking point for those who choose to live a life outside of a personal relationship with God. If God is good and merciful then God should front all the blessings and goodness up front. Then later a person can decide if the offer God makes merits a commitment. After all, we are a buy now, pay later culture. 

However, God is not defined as a Santa Clause who exists merely to address my critical list of wants and selfish demands. I am ashamed to admit that even after following Christ most of my life, this mentality can stick to my heart like lint sticks to velcro. It pollutes my prayer life and sabotage my following of God’s leadership in my life. David’s narrative in the Psalm confirms the importance of relationship to God that is intimate and authentic. It is not a corporate merger where two parties have access to all the assets and the choice to opt out if it isn’t beneficial for one of the parties. This user mentality doesn’t work in relationship to other people, so why would I think this would produce a positive outcome in a relationship with the author and creator of both the universe and me? 

David reminds me at the beginning of the Psalm why this perspective won’t work. David refers to the Shepherd as Lord. This clarifies for me the beautiful balance David has with God. David is absolutely convinced of the love God has for him. A love that can personally lead him, the ability to provide rest, the power to protect, the skill and strength to ward off the enemy, and the desire to bless him. David also knows, God has the faithfulness to follow up with His own goodness and mercy. It is not anything he can earn.  

Because God is the Good Shepherd, He shares the blessings of goodness and mercy with me. I am one of His beloved sheep, one He has loved, led, disciplined, rescued and defended along life’s way. When I hold fast to this perspective, it is a comfort to look into my spiritual rear view mirror and not look at all the distracting wrongs, mistakes and failures I made along the way. Rather I remember and see all the ways God has blessed me. 

It reminds me of my traveling days with my family. I grew up with grandparents that lived over 500 miles from us. Our family lived in Michigan and my grandparents lived in East Tennessee. Suffice it to say, we made a lot of road trips and often due to scheduling and luggage issues, we took 2 cars. This pattern was repeated when both of my children attended college in the south. We all set out on a trip with an agreement of how we would follow each other, communicate, where we would stop etc… This was before cell phones, so it was a walk, or should I say a ride of faith that we would arrive at our destination together. Hazards like traffic, detours, weather often challenged our ability to stay behind each other. Sometimes we would get separated and the discussion about what instigated our separation would ensue followed by a rising sense of urgency and anxiety about where the other members in our caravan could be. There was nothing like looking up in the mirror and seeing waving hands, flashing headlights and familiar grinning faces closing the distance between us. Life is a lot like this. Sometimes unexpected hazards pop along the road. Things like health concerns, disappointments over unfulfilled dreams, financial worries, troubled relationships, fear itself. I look up and I have trouble seeing where God is in all of this chaos and my despair starts to rise. Then suddenly I look up and unexpectedly, and joy washes over me because I see the headlights of God’s goodness and mercy shining brightly following me, especially when the road is dark and lonely. Right now in the condition of the world, they are a beacon of hope.

Hope is about what is to come. David finishes his 23rd Psalm by proclaiming his steadfast outlook, “I will Dwell in the House of the Lord forever!” David proclaims God’s goodness and mercy are so great that they will never run out—for they are eternal. God’s goodness and mercy do not have an expiration date. David knows the sweetest retirement plan is basking in God’s personal presence and taking up residence at His house, forever. 

When I think of all the bad news I am surrounded with, this is an anchor to my soul. Most of my life the news has been informing me that oceans and lakes will all be polluted, that several of the species of animals that I am amazed by, are becoming extinct. And even if that doesn’t happen in the immediate, the threat of nuclear dissemination hangs over all of creation with its impending doom. Today, Covid cases are on the rise again and still no vaccine. All these tragic things touch my existence and have the potential to drastically change the quality of my daily life. But today, this 5 o’clock worker is reminded that God’s goodness and mercy is surely following after me: all, not some, but all the days of my life, even on bad news days. When all else could be gone, my relationship with Christ will stand the test of time. He is my hope. And… if I look behind me, Goodness and Mercy have always been following me.

I hope you have enjoyed my Confessions as the Doubting Psalmist. See you in the vineyard for the next series on the Day Dream Believer.