Dreams and Detours

The best Joseph could figure, it had been almost a month since he had began traveling in the Ishmaelite caravan. Joseph had bitterly cried and fought when the shackles had been placed on his wrists and ankles by one of the Egyptian men from the group. His pleading for mercy from his brothers fell on their deaf ears as they counted the 20 pieces of silver they had received for the sale of Joseph as a slave. What would they tell Reuben when he returned, and what would they tell Jacob their father? Joseph had been so relieved to hear the sound of the group approaching the cistern, only to discover it would not be for his rescue, but his further demise. He looked out over the desert horizon and could see the outline of a city in the distance. He pondered over what story his brothers had made up to account for his disappearance. 

Joseph’s grief was so deep he hadn’t slept or ate much the first few days of the journey, but a strong but kind man had insisted that he should eat. At first, it was difficult to push the food past the lump in his throat as he thought of his father Jacob and his younger brother Benjamin sharing a meal back home in their father’s tent. He had trouble putting the faces of his brothers out of his mind. Most of them would not even look him in the eye during transaction with the Ishmaelites. Some had glared angrily with the look of not goodbye, but good riddance written across their faces.

The grand dreams that had come so mysteriously and clearly in his sleep had left him. They were replaced by nightmares of the capture and the time in the well. Before, his slumber had been restful set against the background of the herds and servants talking in warm low voices around campfires while he had snuggled down into the coat his father had given him. Now any sleep was fitful and frightening, haunted by urgent voices in another language. Joseph didn’t understand what they were saying, though after almost a month he had picked up a few basic words and had begun to understand intonations of emotion.  

Today, Joseph detected excitement in their voices as the caravan approached the city. The men were smiling and laughing, and it seemed the camels themselves were picking up speed as well. But Joseph’s despair intensified as they drew near to the city, wondering what would become of him once the caravan arrived. He prayed that the Lord would be with him and protect him, as he once again wept grievously over his circumstances. He lifted his eyes taking in the foreign sites and smells as the caravan made its way through the city gate towards the market.

Meanwhile, back at Jacobs tents, Jacob sat in his torn garments, grieving the loss of his beloved son, Joseph. He had openly wept when Judah, Rueben and his other sons had brought him Joseph’s colorful coat covered in blood. They had told their father Joseph must have been killed on his journey by a wild animal. A journey that Jacob had sent him on. Jacob lifted up his face toward heaven and with a loud brokenhearted voice. He wailed full of grief and guilt, crying out to the Lord over the loss of his beloved son Joseph.

Sometimes the easiest moments of reading about someone else’s loss and struggles is the advantage of hindsight. I can see the end of Joseph’s story, so for me it takes some of the sting out of the heartbreak I witness in the scriptures. But as before, if I allow myself to stay in the moments of each event, there is so much I can learn and take away that can help me grow in my faith, today. Some of the truth is painful, and makes me confront what I really believe about God, his care and concern for me when life takes unexpected detours. 

You know…. those times when dreams are shattered and the bottom of your world falls out. The times where all of heaven is remote and your hope has been all but destroyed. It seems God has turned away and forgotten my plight, because He is too busy answering other folks prayers while my dreams have turned to ashes lying around my feet. Both Jacob and Joseph find themselves in a grievous season. Even Jesus acknowledged these times would come when He said in John 16:33, “that you will have trouble in this world, but be of good cheer because I have overcome the world.” Jesus said He told us this so we could have peace. I don’t know about you, but peace isn’t what I am usually looking for when a dream I feel God has authored in my life comes up derailed, detoured and what I think is dead. 

Busted. No chance, Not recoverable. The first thing I’m looking for is pity, not peace. And if I don’t find it, I do the reasonable thing —I supply the pity myself. Almost immediately, if not simultaneously I want an explanation from God about why this has occurred and I utilize my prayer life pursuing this and only this question. Obviously, this hasn’t been the most fruitful approach to resolving my issues. However, I must confess, God has at times answered my ‘why’ a few times in my life, but it was years later. When I read about Joseph’s struggles and detours, it reminds me that often when God is going to do something big in my life, it takes big preparation. I wrote previously that God sized dreams, take God sized feats, and God sized power, but they also take God sized timing. It took a long time for Joseph’s dream to develop and establish. I love that in every hardship and detour he faced along the way it says, “but the Lord was with Joseph.” (Gen 39:2)

Some of the other truth i find in this portion of Joseph’s account is that often God’s plan for me is best grasped when I have emptied myself of the grief over failed expectations. Too many times I am ruled by my programming designed by me, for me. To go along with it, I have downloaded ideas from sources outside of God’s truth. This can include opinions of others, the world’s moral code which differs greatly then Gods and a host of other philosophies. It’s hard for me to upload God’s software for my life when my mind and heart are already full of other goals and agendas. Proverbs 19:21 gives us confirmation and a promise for this dilemma, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” My view of God’s dreams are different than His view. I am reminded from the lesson from Joseph’s cistern that my resources come from above. God sees the topside view of everything and sees it in every dimension of time for God is outside of time. And no matter how much time passes, the bible promises God’s purpose cannot be held back. 

Joseph was young, inexperienced but divinely gifted and destined. But Joseph’s view of God’s dream for  him of leadership was lofty and arrogant. All pride, position and puff, not purpose. Do I think God caused the brothers to harm Joseph, sell him as a slave, and deceive their own father? I absolutely do not! I do believe that God the master Potter, can take the clay of human choice and remold it into something He can use. I believe this is true for me. When wrong choices occur on either my part, or unfortunately the part of others close to me, God can turn it around and make a way for things to work out when there was no way. This God’s unique creative characteristic that gives me hope when all is lost. In the meantime, while I am waiting for the  external revelation that He has been at work all the time on my broken dreams, He can and does bless me. He prepares me internally for the reality of a dream that wasn’t dead but just delayed. 

Sometimes if opportunities come too quickly, they are like chariots with too much horsepower, we have not yet developed the skill to handle them safely and we run off the road of life and crash. When I think of this concept, my mind immediately goes to celebrity and fame. I think of all the lives that have been lost because big lives require big power, and few develop it along the fast track. I love that God knows the level of my skill. His love for me goes to lengths to prosper, protect and prepare me, not harm me or bring disappointment and discouragement to my heart. 

There is no doubt that this life comes with seasons of discouragement and with obstacles  that present themselves that make us think they are impossible to overcome. And it is no easy feat to wait for desired outcomes and answered prayers. When I look back over my life, I realize there has been more time spent in the in between gigs portion, rather than other dreamy seasons. God is faithful, and I realize as I trust Him more in these times, the dreams are all the more sweet when they present. He is growing my faith and trust in Him, not just for destinations, but for all the detours along the way.

Sharon Bundo, 5 o’clock Worker