The Struggle with Obedience..Finding my Response

Growing up in a large extended family meant that when we all gathered (weekends, holidays, and summers), there was ample time and people to make playtime fun. We did not grow up in the entertainment age, which meant we played board and yard games to occupy our time. One of the crowd favorites was “Mother May I?” It is very similar to “Simon Says.” Both games challenge players to do exactly as they are told. In the Simon game, you can only make a move if the command is preceded by the words “Simon Says. The other game requires a player to always confirm the command with the question, “Mother, May I?” We played this a lot with great discussion about who would be Simon or Mother. Being the youngest girl, with only 2 younger boys behind me and 12 older than me, my opportunities to be in charge were limited. I used to dream of the day when I could be Simon or Mother and call the shots. Sadly by the time I grew old enough to defend such a status, the older ones had outgrown the game. 

It is ironic how many of us, despite aging, still never outgrow the quest for calling the shots. A part of us doesn’t want to ask for permission, and we often balk at doing exactly as we are told. As we mature, even our language changes, and we don’t use the word obedience, which seems far too childish and restrictive for our ideas. We use words like compliance and conformity because they indicate that authority is more of us partnering with a leader, whether a boss, pastor or some other type of governing agency. But as a disciple of Jesus, the scriptures do not offer the perspective of following as a partnership but rather a state of total submission. It reflects the concept of the “Mother May I?” game I played as a child. In this case, it is “Father, May I?” Following Christ is not partnering, not negotiating, but rather Paul uses a word picture of a loving master/servant relationship. He refers to himself as a bondservant of Christ.

When I started this series on “The Struggle.” I began to realize the order that God brought to me was necessary to grasp God’s ideas and grow in my walk with Him. The first in the series was on truth. It reminded me I must be settled on absolutes based on God’s word. Next, He took me to the area of prayer, examining what I believed about the will of God and how He revealed it and directed me toward it. Obviously, it makes sense that He would lead me into a study about obedience. The struggle to obey Him is deeply connected to His revealed and mysterious will. I touched on this in the previous blog. Jesus said, “If you love me, obey my commands. “(John 5:1). This means to obey what I have placed before you. Do what I have already shared with you. If I struggle to follow what He has said, I can never grow or go into deeper places with Him. 

The Bible has a clear answer about my struggle to obey. It is referred to as ” the flesh” in scripture. This is a description of my personal sinful human will that wants to be Simon in the life game of Simon says. Only in this case, it is Sharon. My self-will and my self-mindedness are hostile to a Holy God (Romans 8: 5-8). Unless I submit my will to the Lordship of Christ and put it under the authority of Him, I will be unable to obey what He has asked of me. When I take these measures, I have access to the Holy Spirit and His power to both desire and execute what pleases God. And… I am not the only one that has this internal struggle to obey. The apostle, Paul, puts it like this in Romans 7:15 -16, 

“What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. If I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.” 

Without first having a personal relationship with Christ, who can totally identify with my human struggle but overcame it by living a perfect life and a sacrificial death on my behalf, I will never agree with God about the righteous choices to make in this life. 

Then I must examine the other fundamental part of the struggle to obey daily. The cost. Will it cost me more time? More money to obey God? What if what God asks of me doesn’t line up with the popular opinion of my family, friends, and people whose approval I desire? What if God shows me something, yet I am told to wait? Or, more importantly, what if it isn’t in my plans for my life? After all, the things I want to pursue are reasonable and won’t hurt folks. My desires are moral, Lord. I often forget that Jesus understands firsthand about going against the crowd and what personal rejection feels like to do the will of God. The disciples He loved, ate with, slept near, traveled, and joked with developed a better idea of how Christ could help them and folks like them. Just become King and advance the people’s cause through political channels. This would be a good choice, right? Even Moral, socially redemptive? Jesus is familiar with the temptation to aid those He loved. I am sure one of the emotionally painful things for Him to face was the personal disappointment of those He loved so dearly. Jesus is my example of total submission and obedience to God… even unto death, as the scriptures record.

I also need to understand that obeying God comes with blessings. Personal peace, joy, increased purpose, and prosperity. Sometimes financially, sometimes in different ways. One of the most amazing things I have found is that the more I obey God, the stronger my conviction and desire to obey Him is. Obedience begets obedience. And the more I follow Him, the clearer His will becomes to me. Obedience begets revelation as well. As I submit to His authority, the more I respond, Father, may I? The more I understand my purpose in Him. Just like in my childhood game not, making a move until God says pays dividends beyond what I could even imagine. Letting Him call the shots in my daily life assures me that I won’t misstep and get into something that will hurt or harm me. Obeying God must be rooted in my unwavering trust that He knows all and sees all. And that He is totally motivated by His love for me. Likewise, I must weigh the cost of disobeying God. I have responded by refusing to obey or avoiding what I know He has asked of me. Never has that ever turned out well. I have often suffered needlessly, missed out on blessings, and sometimes just floundered without purpose. I also had to come to terms with the fact that regret isn’t the same as repentance. Regret is infused with sorrow for how things turned out. Repentance steps up and takes responsibility for the choice and act of disobedience itself. 

Today, I look forward to heaven. It is a place where the struggle to obey will be over. My mind will be fully transformed, and my will, will be totally in union with the Trinity. I will experience the mind of Christ fully and return to fellowship with God the way He intended. Until then, I must keep my eyes and ears attentive to His direction. 

Lord, sometimes I just want to do life my way. I need forgiveness, Jesus, for my disobedience. Remind me that even delaying a response is disobedient. Increase my desire for your will and the strength to respond and say yes to you. God help me live a life from the perspective of Father, may I? Help me to wait and not make a move until you speak and say so. 

I hope you will come back next time when the 5 o’clock worker reflects on how much fairness can be found in the vineyard as the next part of the series continues with”The Struggle with Fairness…Finding Justice”